Sober Living House Rules

What happens if someone breaks a sober living rule?

It depends on the rule and the circumstance. Minor rule violations, missed chores, late curfew, typically result in a verbal warning followed by a written warning, then loss of privileges, and in repeated cases, discharge. A positive drug or alcohol test is taken seriously and may result in discharge because it affects the safety and recovery environment of the whole house. We believe in transparency about consequences upfront so residents understand what's at stake.

Are the rules the same for everyone?

Core rules — the substance-free standard, curfew, and meeting attendance — apply to every resident. We collect and verify work schedules; for a verified work schedule, staff may arrange a specific later return time. Outside treatment level of care does not change curfew. Travel and overnight passes still require advance staff approval.

Can I have visitors in sober living?

Visitors are not allowed at the house during a resident’s first 30 days. Yes, during designated visiting hours. Visitors are limited to appropriate supports such as family, sponsors, and people in recovery. Casual social visits or dinner-party-style gatherings are not part of the house environment. Residents may generally become eligible for approved overnight passes away from the house after they have acclimated to the home and its routines, usually around 30 days. Approval depends on individual readiness, accountability, and house expectations.

What if I'm prescribed medications?

Some residents may use optional medication storage and accountability support. Residents take their own medications as prescribed by their outside licensed provider. BTS does not prescribe, dispense, administer, or change medications. When this additional house support is provided, the fee is $300 per month.

Do the rules feel restrictive?

Most residents tell us the same thing: the rules felt restrictive before they arrived, and essential after their first few weeks. The structure doesn't eliminate autonomy, it protects it. Men who've been through the process consistently say that the rules gave them the freedom to focus on getting better rather than making a hundred risky decisions a day.

What if I disagree with a rule or want to appeal a decision?

We take disputes seriously. Every resident has the right to speak with house management about any rule or consequence. While the core rules are non-negotiable, there is always room for conversation about circumstances, timing, and next steps. We want residents to feel heard, not just managed.

Are residents drug tested at By the Sea Recovery?

Yes. All residents are subject to drug and alcohol testing conducted regularly, randomly, and at any time staff have reason for concern. Testing covers a comprehensive panel including alcohol, opioids, fentanyl, methamphetamine, cocaine, benzodiazepines, and marijuana. There is no predictable testing schedule — the random nature is intentional and removes the concept of a safe window between tests. Prescription medications disclosed at intake are documented so residents are not penalized for medications properly prescribed to them.

Do residents have a curfew at By the Sea Recovery?

Yes. Standard house curfew is 10:00 p.m. Monday through Thursday and midnight Friday through Sunday. We collect and verify a resident's work schedule; for a verified work schedule, staff may arrange a specific later return time. Outside treatment level of care does not change house curfew. Travel and overnight absences require advance approval from staff. Curfew gives the home a consistent, predictable structure.

What happens if a resident relapses while living at By the Sea Recovery?

A positive drug test or discovered relapse triggers an immediate safety and accountability response. Trained BTS leadership assesses the situation, the resident's safety needs, honesty and willingness to accept help, and the impact on the home. A resident is not automatically discharged. Depending on the circumstances, leadership may increase house structure or recommend detox or a higher level of care, which independent outside clinical providers assess and deliver, not BTS. Discharge may be necessary in serious cases when the home cannot remain safe. We approach each situation individually and work with the resident on a safe next-step plan.

Is a resident automatically discharged after a relapse?

Not necessarily. By the Sea Recovery evaluates each situation individually based on safety, the resident's condition and honesty, community impact, and whether continued residency is appropriate. A single relapse does not guarantee discharge, but substance use is taken seriously because it affects every person in the home. In cases where the safety or integrity of the community cannot be maintained, discharge with a clear next-step plan is required. We are not a three-strikes operation — but we must protect residents who are doing the work.

How does By the Sea Recovery maintain a safe, sober environment?

By maintaining a substance-free standard enforced through random drug and alcohol testing, clear house rules, curfew, staff involvement, and a community culture built around accountability. All residents agree to the same rules before move-in. Violations are handled consistently and transparently. Staff are available to support the community and address concerns. The goal is not control — it is protecting the conditions in which every resident can do the work of recovery.