Learning Patience and Tolerance
By Mark Gladden — Published: 2024-02-02 — Updated: 2026-07-14
Categories: Recovery
Patience and tolerance are two spiritual principles that are encouraged throughout recovery. Patience is a trait that is very useful not only in recovery but for life in general.
Receiving Patience and Tolerance
When you first get sober, you will be a person who receives the benefits of patience and tolerance. You may not know how to act or need guidance at meetings.
Maybe you speak out of turn or on a topic that you have no experience with. It happens to new people a lot! You don’t know a lot about staying sober when you’ve got 30 days clean. So others might gently shush you and tell you to keep coming back! This is an exercise of patience and tolerance.
Instead of lecturing you, people with more time sober will help guide you. This can be painful for you, and you may slip up or make a poor decision. Yet the 12-step room will still love you and welcome you back.
Patience and tolerance go hand-in-hand; you really can’t have one without the other. With these principles, you can act with love and kindness.
Becoming Patient
Patience is tested in the earliest days of recovery. You may be waiting for family trust to slowly rebuild, for a job opportunity to come through, or for the legal and personal consequences of past decisions to gradually resolve. Getting sober requires accepting that meaningful change takes time. Each step forward — whether it’s a month of sobriety, a repaired relationship, or a new responsibility — is earned through persistence, not speed.
You have to accept every delay and appointment. You stay patient because you hope things will get better, and you’ll get sober.
You may not even realize that you’re patient when you’re doing these things.
Being More Tolerant of Others
Once you get sober, you’ll become more tolerant of others as well as yourself.
Once you get sober, you will become more tolerant of others as well as yourself. In recovery meetings, you will hear stories and share space with people whose experiences differ from yours. Some shares will not resonate. Some people may get on your nerves. Being tolerant means you listen anyway. If the person speaking makes you feel impatient, try closing your eyes and listening as if you do not know them at all. Pay attention to the message, not the messenger.
Living in a sober home puts tolerance to the test every day. You share space, meals, and schedules with other men who are at different points in their recovery journey. Some may irritate you. Some may seem like they’re not trying hard enough. But choosing to focus on your own growth rather than others’ shortcomings is one of the most valuable skills you can build in sober living. Over time, that practice of tolerance becomes second nature.
When you are exercising patience and tolerance, you can become more open-minded. You’ll also start to give yourself a break and be less judging of your own mistakes. All of this leads to more peace and serenity. Recovery is a beautiful thing!
Sober Living Solutions
Living with others in recovery means daily practice in patience and tolerance. In a structured sober living program, you share space, schedules, and goals with men who are working the same process you are. The built-in structure of a daily routine helps you build these spiritual principles one day at a time. Check Availability or call 760-216-2077 to learn more about By the Sea Recovery in San Marcos, North County San Diego.
Tags: patience, patient, recovery, sobriety, tolerance, tolerant
Ready to take the next step? Call By the Sea Recovery at 760-216-2077 or contact us online.